Possibly, · I'm · Insane

I actually need to use bigger font for this:

AIRTRAN IS MADE OF ENORMOUS FAIL.
And here is the story:


 

On Thursday, July 30, I was scheduled on the 5:43 p.m. flight from Boston to Milwaukee, connecting to a flight to Minneapolis. I do not remember what time I was supposed to get into Minneapolis, but I think it was around 9:30.

On Thursday, I tried to check in online, but the AirTran website told me I couldn't and that I would have to check in when I got to the airport. Whatever.

I left work at 4 and was at the airport by 4:20 or so, which should have left me plenty of time. Except that AirTran's computer system was down. No one was able to do self-check-in as a result. Everyone had to go to the representative, whose systems weren't working properly, so it was complete chaos. They only had a few people working, and several of them could only do itineraries that were direct flights, which isn't very helpful in this day and age. I get in line, because I have no other option, and finally get to the front of the line around 5:00 or so.

I get up there and slide across my driver's license and say my final destination is Minneapolis, going through Milwaukee. We have the following conversation.

Him: Oh, you're not getting to Minneapolis tonight.
Me: What? Why not?
Him: The flight to Milwaukee is delayed two hours. You're not going to make your connection.
Me: But...is there a later flight to Minneapolis out of Milwaukee?
Him: No.
Me: So what are my options?
Him: There's a flight out of Boston tomorrow morning that'll get you into Minneapolis at 11:20.
Me: But I need to be in Minneapolis tomorrow morning by 10 a.m.
(A/N: This is because I was scheduled to be a panelist at 10 a.m. on the Friday.)
Him: That's not going to happen, it's impossible.
Me: It's, like, 17 hours from now. There are no other options?
Him: Well, you can fly to Atlanta tonight, stay overnight in Atlanta, and take a flight to Minneapolis from Atlanta tomorrow morning.
Me: Okay. And what time will that get me in?
Him: 9:40.
Me: And that's the earliest I can get into Minneapolis? 
Him: That's the earliest.
Me: What about other airlines? Can you look at other airlines and tell me what my options are there?
Him: No.
Me: Okay, so you're telling me there's no way I can get to Minneapolis before 9:40 tomorrow morning? How long a drive is it between Milwaukee and Minneapolis?
Him: I don't know.
Me: What happens if I stay overnight in Milwaukee instead of Atlanta?
Him: Won't get you in earlier.
Me: You can't get me on any other flight? Why is my flight delayed?
(A/N: Now this has all been very annoying up to this point, but it is about to get absurd, right here.)
Him: Weather in Boston.
(pause. I look at the bright, sunny day outside.)
Me: What?
Him: There's a weather hold in Boston.
Me: There's a weather hold in Boston? There's blue sky outside.
Him: There might be some blue sky, but I see some clouds, too.
(A/N: He was right. Gorgeous, puffy, white clouds.)
Me: So you're telling me all flights out of Boston are grounded right now because of weather?
Him: Yes. So what do you want to do?
Me: I guess fly me to Atlanta. Will you pay for my hotel room?
Him: No, because it's weather. It's not our fault.
Me: That's right, I forgot about the hurricane we're currently having in Boston. Silly me.

At which point the man gives me a boarding pass to Atlanta and then another flight out to Minneapolis. And then I walk over to the food court near the check-in desk, and I look at the departure televisions. There is a Midwest 5:40 p.m. flight going to Milwaukee out of Boston. That flight? Currently on time. All in all, almost every flight appears to be leaving on time, except for a few going to Newark. And at this point I sit down in the food court and just sob. Maybe this seems like a silly thing to do, but, truthfully, I live my life constantly on the verge of tears. It doesn't take much to push me over the edge. And I know at this point they're lying to me, but I'm completely powerless and there's nothing I can do. I gather my composure, call my mother to tell her the situation so she knows that my flight times are all different, and promptly begin crying again, and then I feel like an idiot, because I try not to worry people by being a wreck in front of them. My mother is on her own plane, because she and my father flew out to Florida the same night I was scheduled to leave for Minneapolis. They flew out of Providence, and they weren't really having issues. My mother must have called my sisters, because they both called me to see how I was, and by then I'd gathered myself a bit. jlrpuck had e-mailed me that Northwest had a flight to Minneapolis out of Boston scheduled to leave at 6:05. She suggested I check that out, so I did. Northwest flies out of another terminal, so I had to walk over there. I called Northwest on the way, and got their customer service representative. They were *awesome,* and immediately helped me. The 6:05 flight was leaving on time (SHOCKING, CONSIDERING THE TERRIBLE WEATHER IN BOSTON), but they couldn't sell me a ticket because by then it was almost 6, so I'd never have made it. Northwest had two other flights out of Boston to Minneapolis that would get me there by 10 a.m. I explained my situation to the Northwest woman and said I was going to call AirTran and see if they would refund my ticket, because, if I was going to buy another plane ticket, I was getting my money back for the first. The Northwest woman was bewildered by the "weather ground" in Boston. She did, however, say that it was "possible" for AirTran to be taking a route to Milwaukee that may have grounded their plane. But she said it the way people don't want to say that other people are liars. chicklet73 looked at the radar for me and told me there was nothing within miles of Boston.

I called AirTran customer service, because I didn't want to go back and wait in that ridiculous line. I explained the situation, including the fact that I knew there wasn't weather in Boston grounding my plane. The woman then said, vaguely, "Oh, the weather's in Baltimore. Well, it's all up and down the East Coast, really." Ah. Really? Fascinating. I told her that Northwest seemed to be oddly unaffected by this weather that was plaguing AirTran, and that I wanted my money back so I could go buy a ticket with Northwest. Then the woman and I had this conversation: 

Her: I can't give you your money back, because you didn't pay for the ticket with a credit card.
(pause)
Me: Of course I paid for the ticket with a credit card. You think I showed up at the airport with cash and bought a plane ticket?
Her: You paid for your original ticket with a credit card. You changed your original flight to a flight connecting in Atlanta, so the ticket you currently hold was bought by a credit when you traded your original ticket in.
(pause)
Me: So you're saying that, because of the incompetence of your airline, I can't get my money back? 
Her: Well, I can give you a credit toward future travel--
Me: You're a lunatic.

Er, then I may have hung up on her. But I was losing my patience. Well. I'd already lost it, really.

I'd promised Youngest Sister (Younger Sister was at work, so poor Youngest Sister was handling all of this for me) I'd call her when I was done with Northwest. Logan has these lovely white rocking chairs they line up between terminals. So I sat in one of them and called her and cried again. And, again, I know this was silly, but I'd been really, really looking forward to being on the panel. I spend a lot of time in my life really hating what I do. Writing is something I like. And I was so flattered and delighted to be invited to do something because someone respected something that I liked to do. It was like this whole other side of me that I feel is dying day by day, the longer I keep getting up and going to my office and sitting there and writing nasty letters to people that then never accomplish anything. All of a sudden, AirTran preventing me from going to this panel felt like it was the shutting-off of any possibility that I would ever be anything but a lawyer. And I know that's not true, I know it seems ridiculous, but that's what it felt like. And the idea that they could do their job this incompetently, with me powerless to make them do it better, whereas I have to run around cancelling plans at the whims of my bosses all the time and would be fired if I was this incompetent, just made me extra-furious. 

After talking to my sister, I decided that I would go trade in my Atlanta connection for the flight out of Boston the following day. I had no confidence AirTran would land my plane in Minneapolis at 9:40 the following morning, and if I wasn't going to make my panel, it was silly to pay for a hotel room. I would stay in Boston for the night, and I would call arctacuda to go dinner with me so I wasn't alone. But first, I made Youngest Sister gather evidence for me. Because, hey, much as I may want to be more than a lawyer, I spend the vast amount of my time being just that. Then I went and calmly waited in line. I got up to the front, and I was pleased to be not the least bit close to tears. I was just FURIOUS. Which is a good thing to be.

I gave a speech. "Look," I said. "I was on your 5:43 flight to Milwaukee. Which you told me was grounded due to weather in Boston. I'm not an idiot, okay? The Midwest flight to Milwaukee left Boston on time at 5:40 and is currently in the air over New York. Northwest had a flight to Minneapolis that took off slightly delayed, at 6:12 p.m. So don't tell me anything about weather in Boston. I have no idea what the problem is with your flights. What I do know is that I told you I needed to be in Minneapolis by 10 a.m. tomorrow. That gave you 15 hours to get me to Minneapolis. And nobody employed by your airline helped me with this at all. I do a lot of flying, and I have never encountered an airline as unhelpful as yours has been tonight. On my own, by calling one airline, I found three other options to get me to Minneapolis before 10 a.m. So it didn't even take any effort to find me a solution. Which is not surprising, since your airline is the only one affected by this mysterious weather in Boston. You just weren't interested in helping me get to my destination at all, which I find appalling. And I know I'm just one person, and I know you don't care about me, but I do a lot of flying, and I have a lot of friends, and they are all going to hear about this."

And do you know what happened, after this grand speech of mine? The woman wouldn't even look at me. I could tell she was mad. Which, like, whatever. Because I was mad. I try not to be the difficult customer, but really now. While clacking angrily on her keyboard, she said, "What do you want me to do?"

I replied, "Well, I want you to get me to Minneapolis by 10 a.m. tomorrow, but you're telling me there's no way you can do that, right?"

She confirmed that.

I said, "Fine. Right now, I'm booked to go to Atlanta, but I am not confident of your airline's ability to leave Atlanta on time tomorrow, so I'm giving up on that, and I want you to book me out of Boston tomorrow."

Then, er, I may have gotten really sarcastic, because she said, "What time do you want to leave Boston tomorrow?" (all without looking at me, of course) and I said, "You know what? Why don't you tell me when you would like me to leave Boston tomorrow, since clearly when I want to leave Boston is tonight, but what I want doesn't matter. So let me know what works for your schedule, and I'll work my life around it and then pay you for the honor of it."
 
My mother called while this woman was switching my ticket over, probably to make sure I was better, and I told her I was and that I was switching my ticket and that I was going to call arctacuda. And my call waiting clicked, and I glanced at it. "Oh," I said to my mother. "This is Youngest Sister, let me get this."

AND HERE IS WHERE THINGS GET REALLY SHOCKINGLY TERRIBLE. Because all of this that has happened so far? Whatever. Were they lying about weather in Boston? Yes, almost certainly. Where they unhelpful about calling other airlines? Yes, definitely. But were they obligated to do anything more for me than what they were doing? Not really, sadly. Your rights when you are an airline passenger and your airline is playing the weather card seem to be shockingly few. (Haven't done any real research on this, it just seems that way.) But what happened THEN? I  WILL TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED THEN. THIS CONVERSATION:

Youngest Sister: Did you say you were flying through Atlanta?
Me: Yeah, but I'm switching that now.
Youngest Sister: They have a flight out of Atlanta at 11:30 that would get you into Minneapolis at 1 a.m.
Me: Who does?
Youngest Sister: AirTran.
(pause)
Me: Wait,  tonight? They have a flight tonight?
Youngest Sister: Yup.
Me: (to Youngest Sister) Hold on. (to AirTran Woman) Do you have a flight out of Atlanta tonight at 11:30, that would get me into Minneapolis at 1 a.m.?
AirTran Woman: Yes.
Youngest Sister: Oh, I'd lean over and smack her.
Me: I just gave you a whole speech about how I needed to be in Minneapolis by 10 a.m. tomorrow, and you didn't think it was important to mention to me that you have a flight THAT WOULD GET ME THERE BY 10 A.M. TOMORROW?
AirTran Woman: That flight is full.
Me: Can I fly standby?
AirTran Woman: You can try.
Me: Then I'd like to try that, please. I was flying through Atlanta anyway and prepared to pay for a room overnight. Why would you not tell me that this option existed?
AirTran Woman: (silence; clacks angrily on her keyboard)
Me: (to Youngest Sister) Thank you, Youngest Sister. You have done AirTran's job for them, I appreciate it. Thank God I am not relying on the people who are actually working for this airline.
(A/N: I, er, may have been more furious at this point than at any other point in the entire debacle. Because, SERIOUSLY NOW.)

AirTran Woman issued me my tickets to and out of Atlanta and my standby slip. I took it. I said thank you, without meaning it. We had done the entire transaction without her ever looking at me.

The flight to Atlanta was--SHOCKINGLY--delayed. But so was the connecting flight out of Atlanta. The AirTran people were once again not giving anyone any information, so I had Youngest Sister looking up the connecting information for everyone sitting around me for the flight out of Boston. Youngest Sister also said, "Your 11:30 flight out of Atlanta is showing 46 seats available. Do not let them tell you that this flight is full."

But they didn't try to tell me that. I got on the flight without issue, easily, which makes it even more astonishing to me that if it hadn't been for my little sister, sitting in front of a computer and delaying a night out with friends to figure this out for me, this option would never have been given to me and I would have missed my panel. The woman who sat next to me on the connecting flight out of Atlanta had started her day, hours earlier, in Charlotte. She, too, had been told weather was the issue, although she'd been told weather in Atlanta. She said she'd been doing a survey, and every passenger had been told weather, but the weather seemed to drift around the country, never really in the same location twice.

LYING LIARS WHO LIE.

Ugh. But I finally got there. Thank God for all the people around me--none of whom are on AirTran's salary--who worked to make that happen. And then I had a great time, which I promise to share in another entry.

On Saturday night, I again couldn't check in online for my flight. (I was a little drunk, so I actually sent a ridiculous complaining e-mail to AirTran about this. I plan to send AirTran a letter about the rest of my experience, which I am going to very carefully craft [leaving out all my hysteria]. And then also post to Consumerist, on jlrpuck and ginamak's recommendation, I think.) Then I got to the airport and had this conversation with the lady at the check-in desk.

Her: You already checked in, did you lose your boarding pass?
Me: No, your website doesn't work. It just always tells me that I can't check in.
Her: Oh. Well, your flight into Boston is delayed.
Me: Is it? Imagine that.
Her: Yeah, there's weather in Boston.
Me: Shocking.