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Driving Lesson (1/1)

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Title - Driving Lesson (1/1)
Author - earlgreytea68
Rating - General
Characters - Sherlock, John
Spoilers - "The Hounds of Baskerville"
Disclaimer - I don't own them and I don't make money off of them, but I don't like to dwell on that, so let's move on.
Summary - When they picked up the car, John announced, "I'm going to drive."
Author's Notes - Just another little ficlet. Many, many thanks to arctacuda, who has been encouraging all of this.

When they picked up the car, John announced, "I'm going to drive."

"Fine," said Sherlock, waving his hand about, but he was already onto the next thing in his head, John knew, which was why John wanted to drive. He suspected brilliant deductive minds weren't necessarily good at paying attention to roadsigns.

But it began immediately, before he'd even turned the key in the ignition.

"You're not going to drive like that, are you?" Sherlock asked.

"What?" John looked up at him, then back to the steering wheel. "Yes. Yes, I am going to drive 'like this.'" He turned the key in the ignition.

Sherlock made a "hmph" noise. "If you want to drive like that, it's your choice. Just know that you will have to adjust the laws of physics, the anatomy of the human body, and your age in order to see the wing mirrors during our drive without leaving you with a terrible pain in your neck."

"It isn't the wing mirrors that are painful in this car, Sherlock," said John, and put the car into reverse.

"The wing mirrors aren't painful, John, don't be ridiculous. The angle at which you are sitting to look at the wing mirrors is painful. Or will be. Tonight. Later. And don't think I'm going to listen to you complaining."

"You never listen to me," John pointed out, wrestling the car onto the street and wishing he'd adjusted the steering wheel before he'd started. The wing mirrors were fine, but the steering wheel was too low.

"Also, your steering wheel's at the wrong height."

"The steering wheel is fine. This is how I prefer my steering wheel. You don't know everything, you know."

"Watch out for that lady in the blue sedan," said Sherlock, five seconds before the lady in the blue sedan cut them off, causing John to stamp on the brakes and swear in frustration. Sherlock hummed in satisfaction.

John looked at him in exasperation. "How could you possibly have known that?"

"She was on the train with us. Her mother's just died, very suddenly, at the house of the long-term lover she had that the rest of the family knew nothing about. And she's just learned that her boss is probably going to make her redundant. She's distracted right now. Really, John, don't you pay attention to anything?"

John sighed and followed the blue sedan at a respectable distance in case she made any sudden moves, but she took a left at the first intersection and he was free of her. "She was wearing black, I suppose? And weeping? And...clutching a pink slip?"

"What?" said Sherlock, and John realized he had no idea what he was talking about, he was probably deep in thought about hounds and Baskerville and, who knew, ballerinas or some such.

"The lady in the blue sedan." John's eyes flickered over to Sherlock. He was looking steadily out his window at the moor passing by.

"I eavesdropped on her conversation, John." He sounded bored. "There's a curve up ahead and you're going much too fast to make it and you should have started applying your brakes thirty feet ago. Thirty-five feet ago."

"Sherl..." John began to say in frustration, then realized that he actually did have to slam on his brakes to make the curve. He didn't even bother to ask how Sherlock had known that.

"Told you," said Sherlock. "Now watch out here, the road's going to take another sharp turn--"

John slammed on the brakes again.

"--And again you're going much too fast."

"Why is this bloody road so curvy?" John complained.

"The next road we're going to get on is even curvier."

"And how can you possibly know that?"

"It's a simple matter of looking at a map, John."

"You don't have a map."

"Not now. I looked at one before. Who looks at a map after they've already begun the journey?"

"Oh, and I suppose you memorized it?" drawled John.

"I didn't memorize it, John. I looked at it. I can't help it if that means I'll remember it. And I can't help it if you didn't even bother to look at one. Are you sure you don't want to adjust your seat and fix that wing mirror? Your neck's already bothering you, isn't it? A pheasant's going to fly out of that bush right there."

"My neck is fi--" John slammed on the brakes as a pheasant flew out of the bush directly in front of the car.

They sat for a second in silence, unmoving, in the middle of the deserted and unnecessarily curvy road. Sherlock sighed heavily.

"Fine." John took his seatbelt off and opened his car door. "You drive."

Sherlock pretended surprise. "Are you sure, John? You were starting to get the hang of the whole operation, I thought--"

"Shut up," said John.

Sherlock smiled at him.
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On January 13th, 2012 11:43 pm (UTC), tripocket commented:
I can't even tell you the level of happy I am that you are writing in this fandom. As a matter of fact it's possible this level of happy has NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE. :)
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On January 17th, 2012 04:29 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Awwwwww! ::blushes::
— On February 5th, 2012 07:47 pm (UTC), elanorsherlock posted a reply · Expand
— On February 7th, 2012 03:45 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 posted a reply · Expand
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On January 13th, 2012 11:54 pm (UTC), mrv3000 commented:
BWAH! Poor John. :D
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On January 17th, 2012 04:29 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
He's a saint. With a really hot guy for a flatmate.
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On January 14th, 2012 12:03 am (UTC), bugeyedmonster commented:
Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! I'm sure Sherlock did all that just because he wanted to drive.

Edited at 2012-01-14 12:03 am (UTC)
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On January 17th, 2012 04:30 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
It's possible. I keep his secrets. ;-)
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On January 14th, 2012 12:09 am (UTC), manny_sg commented:
Hehe, that was fun to read :D
Sherlock can't live without torturing John <3
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On January 17th, 2012 04:30 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Hee, I think it gives his life meaning.
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On January 14th, 2012 12:41 am (UTC), ladyprydian commented:
My words can't express how happy I am to see you writing in the fandom.
:D :D :D

Poor John, I think I would rather let Sherlock drive as well. He'd drive you batty otherwise.
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On January 17th, 2012 04:30 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Awww, yay, I'm glad you're happy!

And yeah, I think Sherlock is the type of control freak who it's easier to just give into.
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On January 14th, 2012 12:53 am (UTC), lawless523 commented:
Echoing bugeyedmonster - I bet Sherlock did that in order to get John to relinquish the steering wheel to him.
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On January 17th, 2012 04:35 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
He does have a way of getting what he wants!
— On January 17th, 2012 12:10 pm (UTC), lawless523 posted a reply · Expand
— On January 20th, 2012 04:50 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 posted a reply · Expand
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On January 14th, 2012 12:54 am (UTC), pyjamapants commented:
I will never, ever let my husband see this story. Ever.

I wondered how it was that Sherlock ended up driving in the episode. Perfect explanation. :)
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On January 17th, 2012 04:35 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Hahahaha!

The sight of him driving was so strange, I thought I just had to come up with an explanation for it.
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On January 14th, 2012 01:19 am (UTC), equusentric commented:
LOL brilliant. XD
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On January 17th, 2012 04:35 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Thank you!
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(Deleted comment)
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On January 17th, 2012 04:36 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Right? It just makes sense!
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On January 14th, 2012 01:58 am (UTC), tracy_lousia commented:
Lol, this is just perfect. Thanks.
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On January 17th, 2012 04:36 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Glad you enjoyed it!
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On January 14th, 2012 02:27 am (UTC), snarry_fan7 commented:
Very delightful and amusing. Reminds me of "Keeping Up Appearances" when Hyacinth Bucket keeps telling her husband how to drive and it drives him up the wall every time (but she herself won't drive for some reason, lol). Nicely done.~Sophia
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On January 17th, 2012 04:37 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Hee! I've never seen that show, I'll have to check it out!
— On January 17th, 2012 06:37 am (UTC), snarry_fan7 posted a reply · Expand
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On January 14th, 2012 02:45 am (UTC), liber_noctuae commented:
phtwww!

I'm so glad you've wandered over to this fandom :)

I do kind of wonder though...Sherlock learning to drive must have been a nightmare. can you imagine the poor instructor being told off every 5 seconds by him?
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On January 17th, 2012 04:37 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
I don't know when the wandering happened, but it seems to have occurred. :-)

And oh, dear, Sherlock learning how to drive must have been a nightmare.
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On January 14th, 2012 03:25 am (UTC), captain91 commented:
hee, that was so funny, i would hate to be in poor john's position! he would make a bad teacher and an even worse student lol

*loks for a piece of egt's brain to write a subliminal message on* i'd loke to see him and either brem or the doctor have a brain-off. can you imagine someone having to tell sherlock they're wrong?
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On January 17th, 2012 04:38 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Oh, God, Sherlock as a teacher would be *terrible.*

Oh, my goodness, Sherlock would *not* get along with the Doctor and Brem!
— On January 17th, 2012 10:33 am (UTC), captain91 posted a reply · Expand
— On January 20th, 2012 04:50 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 posted a reply · Expand
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On January 14th, 2012 07:18 am (UTC), fuzzyboo03 commented:
You know, as soon as I saw Sherlock driving I thought to myself, finally fandom can settle the great debate as to whether Sherlock can drive.

Of course he is the world's worst backseat driver! *giggles*
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On January 17th, 2012 04:39 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
I love the Great Debates that this fandom has. There's so little information, we get caught up in the silliest things!
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On January 14th, 2012 08:27 am (UTC), wildwinterwitch commented:
How could this not have been in the ep?

This is fantastic. Please write more about them...
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On January 17th, 2012 04:43 am (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! We'll see where the wind takes me!
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