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Like a Kid in a Candy Store (1/1)

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Title - Like a Kid in a Candy Store (1/1)
Author - earlgreytea68  
Rating - Teen
Characters - Ten, Rose, Jackie 
Spoilers - Through S2
Disclaimer - I don't own them and I don't make money off of them, but I don't like to dwell on that, so let's move on. 
Summary - The Doctor makes a mistake.
Author's Notes - During the last Support Stacie fic, you could win a fic of your very own for twenty bucks. This is ladychi 's. Her prompt was: candy store.

Thanks to jlrpuck for the typically brilliant beta, and to Kristin and chicklet73  for the feedback.

The icon was created by swankkat , commissioned by jlrpuck  for my birthday.


He was not there to get distracted. Nevertheless, he found himself peering at this particular display and almost dancing with glee. “Spaceships!” he proclaimed. “Isn’t that brilliant!”

The candy store had been quiet. The two clerks and one other customer all looked up at his exclamation.

The Doctor was oblivious to the possibility that he was causing a commotion with his enthusiasm. “I cannot believe that, in all these years, I’ve never been in a proper Earth candy store! This is amazing!” He looked at a rainbow of suckers arranged before him. “Brilliant!” He reached out and took one of each color.

The workers exchanged a look and tried to go back to their inventorying.

The Doctor had now discovered: “Straws! Filled with sugar! Honestly, how do you think of these things?” He grabbed a handful, and noticed the humans in the store were staring at him. “I don’t mean, you know, you you, I know you didn’t invent these things, I’m just saying you humans are absolutely amazing. Smashing little imaginations, the lot of you have.” He gestured with his suckers and his straws of sugar, and then, “Oh! Oh! Excellent! Fudge! Granted, not anything utterly ingenious about fudge, but it is brilliant, isn’t it?” He examined the display case for a second. “One pound.”

“Of which kind, sir?” asked one of the clerks, with exaggerated politeness.

“Oh, each kind. Of course. And all of these.” He laid the suckers and straws with sugar on the counter. “And possibly more, I’m not done yet.” His attention had been attracted by something else. “Are these apples, dipped in caramel and chocolate and sprinkles?”

There was a moment of silence, then one of the clerks answered him, “Yes.”

“At least a dozen of these, too, I’m going to need. Gum drops!” The Doctor abruptly remembered that he was not there to be distracted. “But. Actually.” He walked back over to the counter. “I am here for a reason.”

“Really?” asked the clerk, with a trace of sarcasm. “What could that be?”

“St. Valentine’s Day,” pronounced the Doctor, as if announcing a day of Great Doom.

“Was yesterday,” finished the clerk.

“I know,” agreed the Doctor, mournfully. “That’s the problem.”

“Ah.” Now the humans in the store all smiled at him in sympathy.

“Do you have any Valentine’s chocolate left over? I imagine it would be in the shape of a heart. Welllllll, not really. Not technically. It doesn’t actually look like the heart that’s beating in your body at all. More likely, it’s supposed to resemble the shape of a spread vulva.”

The humans were all staring at him again.

“Anyway,” he said. “Have you got any?”

The clerk in front of him cleared his throat. “It’s, uh, over there. Half-off.”

The display was on the opposite side of the store from where the Doctor had entered, and he frowned at it before selecting two large stylized hearts filled with chocolate.

“Two?” said the clerk. “I hope you get double the apology.”


Rose and Jackie were both in floods of tears when the Doctor arrived back at the flat. He regarded them in alarm. “What’s the matter?”

Steel Magnolias,” Rose sniffled into a tissue. “This is the best movie.”

“Ah. Right-o. Ready to go?”

Rose and Jackie both stared at him. “It’s the middle of the movie!” Rose protested.

“Oh. Okay. Well. Okay.” And he walked into the TARDIS.

Rose stared after him, and then looked back at the movie, ignoring the knowing look her mother sent her. Mum had been sending her knowing looks the entirety of the visit. Well, ever since realizing that the Doctor had forgotten Valentine’s Day. Not so much forgotten it as willfully ignored it. Something about the roots of the holiday, and the commercialization, and something about how by the 72nd century Valentine’s Day had turned into a day when people did cruel things to their lovers, or something.

Rose hadn’t really thought about Valentine’s Day. The visit had happened to coincide with it, and she hadn’t realized how much she had been looking forward to celebrating a Valentine’s Day until it came and went with no acknowledgment by the Doctor. The truth was that their relationship was…complicated. She wasn’t sure she would have called it “dating,” but it was certainly more than just “shagging.” Whatever it was, she had subconsciously thought it worthy of a Valentine’s Day acknowledgment. She had bought him a card and a new tie she’d selected with care, and that she’d presented him with the day before, and he’d been delighted and seemed to think it was a just-because gift, not linked to the holiday. Rose, crestfallen, had debated whether or not to tell him he had missed the day—sometimes, he just didn’t know these things—and then her mother had solved it for her, drawling loudly in the Doctor’s hearing about how she supposed you couldn’t expect an alien to do anything like buy chocolates for Valentine’s Day. You can’t even see fit to get my daughter a card, like a decent bloke? Jackie had demanded, and the Doctor had gaped at her and Rose, cringing, had just wanted to die.

The truth was that she had never had a boyfriend who had done Valentine’s Day really well. Jimmy Stone didn’t count at all, and Mickey had been well-meaning but thought a proper celebration was a few pints down at the pub and a fumbling sexual encounter back at his place. The Doctor was not a proper boyfriend, but he could do things right when he wanted to—earthquake notwithstanding, their first time had been a gorgeous effort on his part—and maybe, maybe, she had secretly been hoping that he’d had something incredible up his sleeve, and had purposely planned the trip home for Valentine’s Day.

No such luck.

When the movie ended, Rose, still wiping tears away, wandered into the TARDIS. She found the Doctor in their bedroom, in the chair by the fireplace, an intricate set of whirring instruments that he appeared to be oiling on the table next to him. 

He looked up at her, and took off his specs to see her more clearly. “Movie over?”

“Yes,” she affirmed.

“Good.” He leaped to his feet. “I’ve got somewhere to take you.”

“I haven’t told Mum good-bye!” Rose protested, as he raced out of the room.

“Don’t worry,” he called over his shoulder. “We’ll be right back.”

Rose followed him to the control room. “But where are we going?”

He was dancing around the console now. “There’s something I want to show you.”

Rose lifted her eyebrows and sat in the captain’s chair, curious now. The Doctor pounded the console with the mallet a few times, and the TARDIS landed with its usual thud. The Doctor swung the monitor toward him, studied it, then nodded once. “Excellent. Right on time.” He straightened and swept his arm toward the door. “After you.”

Rose walked over to the door, opened it, and peered out. It was dark outside. Confused, she stepped out onto what seemed to her to be an expanse of metal woven together. They were high up, and there was a city spread beneath them, but a very dim one. Rose recognized the feeble glow of a time before electricity. Or, at least, widespread electricity.

“It’s 1889, in Paris,” announced the Doctor. “And we—you and I—are the first guests on the Eiffel Tower.”

Rose uttered a soft gasp and looked up, at the tower she could now make out rising above her head. “Oh,” she said.

“D’you like it?” he asked. “I thought you would like it. It’s very…romantic, isn’t it?”

She turned to him. “Doctor—” she began.

He held up a hand. “Wait a tic.” He darted back into the TARDIS, and in a second music began drifting out of it. Moonlight Serenade.

She smiled as he re-appeared, looking pleased with himself. “Not bad, eh?” he asked.

“No. Not bad.” He put one hand on her waist and pulled her to him, clasping her other hand loosely in his, and began swaying them gently to the beat. “Is this about the Valentine’s Day thing?” she asked.

“No. Absolutely not. I am very romantic, Rose. Very romantic. Haven’t you noticed?”

“It comes and it goes, this romantic side of you,” she remarked, dryly.

He looked offended. “Just because I don’t understand the point of a single day when I’m supposed to be extra-nice to you. You sell yourself short. Your mother sells you short. She should be yelling at me for not buying you chocolates every day, not just one particular day.”

“Let’s not give her more reasons to yell at you, yeah?” said Rose.

“Excellent point. I’m just pointing out that…that…” He fell silent, looking at her.

“That?” prompted Rose.

“You are very, very beautiful,” he murmured, softly.

She leaned up and kissed him and then snuggled her head against his shoulder. “This is nice,” she said. “Thank you.”

He swayed her in silence for a second. Then he ventured, “D’you remember the first time we danced to this song?”

She smiled against him. “I do. I practically had to force you.”

“That’s not true,” he protested.

“Yes. It is.” She lifted her head and looked at him, smiling.

“It’s only because you were…terrifying.”

“’Terrifying,’” she repeated, still smiling. “I’m going to remind you that you said that, the next time you try to give me your Oncoming Storm routine.”

He smiled the tiniest bit, before using his hand at her waist to nudge her closer to him, forcing her to rest her head back on his shoulder. Rose, in the silence that followed, realized that maybe he’d been serious, that maybe teasing him had been the wrong response. “Why ‘terrifying’?” she asked, finally.

She felt him rub his cheek against the top of her head. “Because you’re…Rose Tyler.”

That wasn’t a response of all. “What does that mean?”

She felt him shrug.

She let silence stretch for another second, then said, “Did you think we’d end up here?”

“Where? The Eiffel Tower?”

“No. Here.”

She thought he was going to dodge answering, but he replied, finally, “No. I didn’t think…But I could never predict you. That’s why you’re terrifying. I can’t predict you.”

She tipped her head back to look at him again. “Can you predict everyone else?”

“No,” he admitted. “But I can predict you least of all.” He looked at her solemnly for a second. “And, of course, I’d no idea I was going to regenerate and be so sexy and charming and flash.” He dipped her suddenly, and she giggled and clutched at his shoulders. “Do you trust me?” he whispered, holding her in the dip, and her giggles faded. “Not to let you fall?”

“Yes,” she whispered back.

He kept her in the dip for another moment, before straightening her and kissing her deeply. He pulled back a breath. “I have something for you.”

“Mmm,” she said, rubbing against him. “I know.”

He laughed. “No, not that. Wait a second.” He took a small step away from her, letting go of her and reaching into his inside coat pocket. He pulled out a red heart of chocolates and handed it to her.

She smiled as she accepted it. “Thank you.”

“Hang on.” He reached in again and pulled out another.

“Two?” she said, in surprised, accepting that one as well.

“Two hearts,” he pointed out, gesturing to his chest.

“Oh, well, that’s just adorable,” she remarked, and leaned forward and kissed him.

“You know what they say about the heart?” murmured the Doctor, against her lips.


“It resembles a spread vulva.”

“Did you say that to the people at the candy store?”

He paused. “What makes you think that?”

“Because it sounds exactly like the kind of thing you would say. Did you?”

“Wellllllll, I—Yes! But only because it’s true!” he defended himself when she started laughing.

“I know.” She pushed his fringe off his forehead fondly. “Do you think they knew what a ‘spread vulva’ even is?”

“Oh, I should hope so. If they don’t, what a sad world they exist in.”

She chuckled and tugged on his bottom lip. “Does it really resemble a spread vulva?”

“I haven’t reached a conclusion yet,” he told her. “I may have to conduct a fairly—thorough--investigation.” He punctuated the point by being quite thorough with his tongue.


“Now?” he suggested.


One human heart, two Time Lord hearts, and two boxes in the shape of a spread vulva entered the TARDIS.


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On January 16th, 2010 05:12 am (UTC), kalichan commented:
<3 This is awesome. I love the two hearts (discount!).

Also: “And, of course, I’d no idea I was going to regenerate and be so sexy and charming and flash.”


Edited at 2010-01-16 05:13 am (UTC)
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On January 18th, 2010 11:12 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
It's two hearts for the price of one!

Yeah, this was written months and months and months ago. It takes on new meaning now.
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On January 16th, 2010 05:16 am (UTC), ladyofgallifrey commented:
Oooh - did I get first, finally?!??!!? Love the pre-kids, dating, adorkably sexy Doctor and his heart-shaped chocolates!

Edit: not fair! I guess I typed too slow!

Edited at 2010-01-16 05:16 am (UTC)
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On January 18th, 2010 11:13 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Hahahaha! It was a race to first, apparently!

Glad you enjoyed it!
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On January 16th, 2010 05:17 am (UTC), glorious_clio commented:
"“Do you have any Valentine’s chocolate left over? I imagine it would be in the shape of a heart. Welllllll, not really. Not technically. It doesn’t actually look like the heart that’s beating in your body at all. More likely, it’s supposed to resemble the shape of a spread vulva.”"

Hahahahaha.... I don't like Valentine's Day very much, but this was amazing. Thanks for making me laugh!

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On January 18th, 2010 11:14 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Heh. The Doctor can redeem even VALENTINE'S DAY! ;-)
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On January 16th, 2010 05:22 am (UTC), othermewriter commented:
Oh I have soooo died and gone to Ficivore heaven 4 chapters in as many hours on series I love *DROOOOOOL* I swear I have gained 10 lbs on the weight of the rich fic I have been consuming.
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On January 18th, 2010 11:15 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Hahaha! Fic calories are the best kind!!
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On January 16th, 2010 05:23 am (UTC), ppyajunebug commented:
Oh my god, I was just imagining this in the candy store near my school which is always filled with school groups and their reaction to the Doctor babbling about "spread vulvas"...I must try this!

Absolutely adorable and fluffy!!!
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On January 18th, 2010 11:16 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Hahahahaha! Let me know what happens after you try it!
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On January 16th, 2010 05:24 am (UTC), meremoon commented:
Oh, such fluff and sweetness that stops short of causing cavities because of the humor that tempers it perfectly.

But seriously - the last thing Ten needs is to be eating sugar!


Hey - I've seen you around a bit and was wondering if you'd mind if I added you as a friend?
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On January 18th, 2010 11:17 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Yes, I always meant there to be something in here about Ten having eaten too much sugar, but I couldn't figure out where to put it. ;-)

Definitely feel free to friend me!
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On January 16th, 2010 05:31 am (UTC), gioiamia commented:
Sorry, I'm zipping around at the moment and not capable of great insight. So forgive me for merely saying I loved this!
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On January 18th, 2010 11:18 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
I'm so glad you loved it! I forgive you! ;-)
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On January 16th, 2010 05:40 am (UTC), sapphire_child commented:
Have I told you lately that I adore this 'verse? Because I really, really, really do ^_^
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On January 18th, 2010 11:19 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Awwww, yay! I'm so glad! ;-)
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On January 16th, 2010 05:43 am (UTC), morningroses commented:
You realize now that I will never be able to look at a heart ever again without making that connection...valentines day this year is going to be hard!
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On January 18th, 2010 11:20 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Hard? Or fun? :-)
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On January 16th, 2010 06:29 am (UTC), see_a_panther commented:
The Doctor getting Rose two boxes of chocolates to represent two Time Lord hearts is entirely too cute. And I love Jackie guilt-tripping him into giving over to the holiday, even though I subscribe to what you've said is the Doctor's view - you should be nice to the people you love every day, not one that Hallmark dictates to you. Great story.
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On January 18th, 2010 11:21 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
I think the Doctor will never truly subscribe to Valentine's Day, but he's willing to do anything to keep Jackie at bay!
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On January 16th, 2010 06:45 am (UTC), fishface44 commented:
So adorable! (And now with a huge stash of candy!)

My favorite line: “It comes and it goes, this romantic side of you,” she remarked, dryly.
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On January 18th, 2010 11:23 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Hahahaha! Rose doesn't even want to know about all that candy!

And I love how he sometimes remembers, "Hey! I can be romantic! I should give that a try again!"
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On January 16th, 2010 07:13 am (UTC), sarah_1228 commented:
hehe cute story

and i've gotta say that icon is like the cutest thing i've ever soon
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On January 18th, 2010 11:28 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Isn't it a FABULOUS icon? I love it passionately. ;-)
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On January 16th, 2010 07:23 am (UTC), frakup commented:
I didn't have any idea when I started reading, but this is exactly what I needed. Thanks!
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On January 18th, 2010 11:29 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Awwwww, I'm so glad! ;-)
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On January 16th, 2010 07:44 am (UTC), glory_jean commented:
Awww. Great pre-kid addition to chaosverse.
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On January 18th, 2010 11:30 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
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On January 16th, 2010 08:11 am (UTC), reetinkerbell commented:
Oh so much love. It was really romantic and sweet and just like how I imagine them.

“Two?” she said, in surprised, accepting that one as well.

“Two hearts,” he pointed out, gesturing to his chest.

I think I just died a little (happily!).
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On January 18th, 2010 11:31 pm (UTC), earlgreytea68 replied:
Ha! As long as it's a happy death, it's all good! ;-)
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